Sunday, September 27, 2009


As I sat there by the beach, watching the sunset I could not predict that the sunset would somehow symbolizes my feelings of this long vacation, as I might called it, and how I feel as it is about to end.

It was crimson with the roundness of the sun of the dusk started to submerge into the straits of Malacca. As slowly as it was trying to do that, the clouds marched towards the big red and covered the rays in its tight grip. The sea, a peaceful being, tried to strike a balance between these two wonders of nature, but it couldn't help but being the third entity in this struggle. The sea was painted half crimson and half azure. With a peck on the cheek, a fine line between the two colours was born, separating them beautifully.

September has been good to me. Its like the stars have been lining up one by one to bless me with great luck and joy. But with a great virtue, comes the great despair.

Each day was eventful.
Each day was unforgettable.
Each day was emotional.

I found myself, and I lost it again.
I found truth, and covered a lie.
I found rules, and broke it into pieces.

Sometimes I wonder, how would it be if this long vacation is my last.
Would I be forgotten?
Or would I be remembered?
Would I be praised?
Or would I be condemned?
Would I be loved?
Or would I be detested?

What I wished for this whole vacation is not to be forgotten. I feel like I'd be a tiny microscopic memory that would vanish by a gust of wind.

I've seen signs. The signs of what humans feared all their life.
But I'm not sure if the sign is meant for me.
And I'm hoping that I misinterpret the signs brought down to me.
Yeah, you could call me a pussy, yellow, chicken and shit. But trying hard to conceal this feeling with a mask of confidence, laughter, joy and content, I'm still afraid. Only baby boy would know how I felt.
Only he would know how I feel.
Maybe only he could see how I would've been seen.

You know, it's a shitty feelings.

But, as long as this blog is still being written and read, I won't ever forget this long vacation. I won't ever trade it for another one. And I won't ever leave it behind. Ever.

As I had honest fun times. I had moments worthy to be engraved on a stone that would lasts millenia. I had the best company, the best atmosphere and the best life I've ever had. And thank you for making it happen for me.

And as I stand there, wathing the big red sinks into the straits of Malacca, so does this long vacation coming to an end. The azure crimson sea slowly turns dark, into the unknown future, providing uncertainties, possibilities and responsibilities. And I hope I'm ready when the moon rises.

Don't wake me up when September ends.


izzy said...

wake up...wake up....

ah^kam_koko' said...

As sure as the sun will rise again, there will be another moment to spare.