Sunday, July 13, 2008

One Day

You know, I wonder...

One day, when I look back at all those that I've experienced, all those that I've made, all those that I've written, all those that I've read, all those that I've spoken, all those that I've heard, all those that I've done, all those that I've faced, all those that I love, all those that I've hated and all those that I've created, will I smile or will I cry.

Will I look back in regret or will I look back with pride.

Will I look back and say Shit or will I look back and say Thanks.

Or will I have the chance, the urge or the strength to look back?

Random Madness

In life, things that we might not want, we'll get it. Things that we really wants, we might not get it.

It's suprising to see how things revolves around you. Thing you planned fails, things came to you uninvited - that bring smile and tears. I'm not sure how it works, but as far as the laid back me knows, I'll just go meh and cbf with it. Somehow, sometimes, something cant be dealt by cbf-ing with it. IT WILL JUST AFFECT YOUR LIFE GREATLY. Just like how your pizza was a little bit burnt, there will be a small bitter taste to it. And if you're a very particular person, you might even sue the pizza maker. One drop of water can change the whole flow of a river. However, going with the flow is what most people would do. I would sometime avoid that. I would sometime try to stop the drop of water, make a new pizza and stuff. But my actions would change everything too. This dilemma haunts me as a spirit choosing wether should it cross over or dwell in an empty house.

A closed door means there's an open window somewhere. The thought of closing the door would kill me but the thought of opening a new window gives me a new breath of life. But if I'm to choose to close the door, will I accept the new opportunity? Will it be ethical? Some might say yes, some, no. If I'm me, I'd say yes, coz it's my life. But if I'm not me, I'd say what about the door? Wouldn't the door would give me more and bigger sized opportunity? Life is just a big fucking hassle. But at the same time, life is heaven. Life.....

I already chosen to close that door, already chosen not to make another pizza, already chosen to let the river flows disrupted. But, could I face these? Could I?

Sometimes, it's just hard. Just hard. Fucking Hard!

When the life of me was destroyed by my own hands, should I feel regret? Should I feel remorse? Should I sulk at the corner of a room?

I don't know.

I'm still a young grasshopper, yet masterless.

But, in a way, I'm happy.

In a way, I'm Happy.



Am I?


Walked a lot today, with froggy. Went around a mall, saw this one modern goth apparel. It was quite bad, for male that is. Female modern goth's apparel was great. In gothic clothing, I love the Victorian era attires. But it's just hard to get one, but that does not include the custom mades.

It's funny when I went out today, and met a really nice person. Mom would approve, Sis would approve and all of me would approve. But, what about....
Better for me not to go deeper.

*shitty mode*

As I recall, the last few years was a bit bad to me. And that includes this year too. Will I get the chance to see a glimmer of light in the future? Or will the blood-red sky falls down on me? Would the white rose blooms? Or would the smell of jasmines fills my lungs?

What about my dreams?
What about my hopes?
What about my promises?

I dreamt too much.
I hoped too much.
I promised too much.





Friday, July 11, 2008


Went to Midvalley today..... Tried to look for new Jeans coz my fav jeans is so used and old. But I still love him. MEet up with kak Mieza and she helped me looked for new legs-cover. After browsing through lotsa shops, we settled down at Tropicana Life. Got a pair of jeans that I like, got a free shirt and got a smile.

Free shits are the best!

Am trying to mix goth and street style...

Any ideas?

Thursday, July 10, 2008


Been on fever since Saturday doesnt help with anything. Lost my voice again yesterday, due to chalk's dust and voice projecting in class. One thing that I had hoped, came to me last Tuesday. As I came out of Czip Lee in Bangsar, a guy came and offered me a chance to make my debut! He's a talent scout and asked me to go to a casting session for an advertisement. Supposed to go today, but, I got an MC from school and the medications made me feel sleepy and I slept all day. I miss my one in a lifetime chance by sleeping! Bummer.

*slaps my own face fifteen million times*

I need that casting session!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 7, 2008


To everyone, I would like to announce something very important.

Until this day, I've been with a lot of girls, be it in a friendship, brotherhood or in love relationships. And until this day, I've broken lots of hearts, and that includes mine. Thus, with the desire of wanting not hurt anyone else again, and not to hurt myself again, I, Nasrul Hadie, hereby renounce all my special relationships that i had had so far and would like to point out that I wont go for any intimate relationship in this immediate future.

I'm sorry.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Greatness vs Gayness


I like school, love the kids, and love to relief classes. The environment's really great, the kids are energetic and cute and through relief classes, i get to learn more as a manager.


Lesson planning is just hard. 5 years course and just a brief 1 unit of lesson planning, the result is that i fail in my first class. I mean, i feel like wasting the 5 years plus teaching course. I could do very good in a restaurant in just 2-3 months of training. Irony eh?