Haunted

Being in this old rickety house definitely defines me as a definite loser. Not only this seven floored house is haunted, but the ghosts of the past haunts me too. They won't disturb much at times but these fellas just know how to strike and act at the worst of times. Having much of bitter memories locked deep in my skull, these Casper wannabe are having a great time haunting me, torturing me, disturbing me at nites, pulling my legs in the morning, clawing my hearts out in the toilet, and scratching me to bleed on the bed. Should I call a ghostbuster? Did that before, didn't work. Should I call a shaman or a witchdoctor? Waste of money. How about a medium and have a talk with these ghosts? I'm a medium myself yet these ghosts are so smart that they just knew how to get around things. SHIT!

I want to move a new house, to a better house. But I know, even if I move away from this old fucking house, the ghosts will always follow me around. Will always haunt me back. Will always torture me. Fuck!

I guess I need to find a C4 and detonate my self. BOOM!

M mode.

In a missing mode.

Listening to Dealova brought back memories of me and the other person I shared the song with. Made me missing her a LOT! Missing those summer nites where we gazed at the stars, missing those cooking we did together, missing the times where we sat in front of the laptop and sang to youtube videos, missing the ride in her car where she asked for a kiss at every traffic light stop, missing the making out sessions, missing waking up at ten, with the sun shone on my face and finding her next to me, asleep, missing those early dinner we had at my place, missing being teased by work mates and yes, missing being her second man during work.

*sigh*

I miss those moments.

The Little Boy

There's a little boy
With a little ball as his toy.
Drinking a glass of soy,
He's hoping to be as strong as heroes of Troy.
One day he ran towards a well,
He tripped and on the ball he fell.
With a scar on his knee, he needs a story to sell.
Far from the well, he heard the bell,
Calling him for dinner time.
He told himself he's fine.
Grabbing the ball he goes to dine,
Ignoring the pain, he's fine.

Getting started.

Pame, u want an update?
Here's one randomness of Nas.

I think I need a small white board and markers in my car. One thing I've learned during the holidays is that since I drive a lot through heavy traffic, and I keep on seeing Nas-certified girls on the road, whether on the road side or in the next car. So might as well I write something like 'Thanks for gracing me with your beauty' or 'Here's my phone number....' or 'Fuck off you fucking blowjob!' to those that never understand what courtesy on the road means. Am thinking of bringing a carton of eggs to be thrown at those imbecile that makes me almost hit others too. Anyway, you'll be surprised to see how many Nas-certified girls that I've encountered during the traffic jams.

Oh yeah, speaking about Nas-certified, I got a date with a D-certified girl! In fact, she's the first D-certified! Its a wonder when I randomly asked lotsa girl (more than 20 I guess) for a date with me, only 2 says okay. Too bad I'm not that popular like I used to. >_<

But on the bright, one of them is THE FIRST D-CERTIFIED! and the other one is one of my favorite too. One of the highest ranking Nas-certified girls.

Update on Wunan:

He's becoming a puppycat!



Hahaha! Look at him!

Anyway, later I will brag bout my new Gundam Kyrios that I've finished after 3 weeks and H/Allelujah, thats for u!

Musica wrote something the other day on a piece of paper but I left it somewhere in KL. Will post it up later.

Beaches

I need a vacation, a true holiday.
2 to 3 weeks of being with the cats and deprived of what others get from this holiday, without any gratitude or pity but lists of mocks and degradation from a person who really knows how to look concerned but the truth is he just cbf with what I experienced here.
And I really need it. A vacation.
D was almost burst out, same as when we hit our dad to pulp and shame, years ago.
I need to calm him down.
Relax my self.
I need a vacation.
A beach action.

Veiled?

Been a cat nurse this hols makes me deprived of a chance of doing what I planned to do. I missed out the GW action, 2 weeks worth mind u, I missed out the beaches action, the hanging around malls action and yeah, finishing the Californication download. Well, staying in the hostel looking after the ever naughty cats (including the injured Wunan) gives me to go out for about 5 hours max. Thus I use it to browse around malls, watching and studying people, eating while I'm at it.

Browsing, watching and studying people in Malaysia makes me discover more about the reason why do I prefer free-haired girls. Just a warning. The following comments is quite sensitive so, if u want to, do stop reading this.

This article I read makes me wonder if the writer is too feminist. If it's to me, it's the same to the Malaysian malay women of this generation. Not wanting to go deeper into that, for now, as if u want to see it, see it from a guy's point of view. I mean, it's hard to find the 'Last-Malay-Lady' type of girl nowadays.

Anyway, what I want to talk about is of Muslim Malay women that wears headscarf. I will focus on those who are of teenagers and early adulthood. For me, the purity and the true meaning of the head scarves had been raped by these women. Based from my experience, my observation and my informal study, girls aged from about 18 to 22 usually would be a good example. I use the word 'raped' as to show how bad the situation is. For example, a Muslim girl, wearing head scarf, went to the cinema with her boyfriend to catch a flick or two, would have a high percentage of ending up making out with the guy, usually at the back row. Most of us are well aware of these happenings. And they would do it in their house, given there's no other people around. And again, if you wear a head scarf and at the same time wearing a tight shirt and jeans or pants (which later invite people to caress your butt), short sleeved, cleavage showing and yeah no socks, please stop and look into a mirror and question yourself.

I'm not a good Muslim but I do know that women should cover their body but their face and palm. And if u wear headscarf, please do respect it. Do respect what it symbolizes. Do not be a hypocrite. And do take a look at how you talk. Is it of a slutty way? Or according to what the head scarf symbolizes. IF you wear head scarf and at the same time doing some of the things above, I recommend you to take it off. Be a free haired girl. At least they are not hypocrite. At least in a way, they respect what the head scarf symbolizes. And with that I respect them more. And it surprises me to see that there's more free haired girls that are good natured and well mannered than those that wears head scarves. Life is full of surprises eh?

I'm not a good Muslim and I have my reasons. But it's heartbreaking to see these people as they seem to be not knowing of what they want.

p/s: I prefer free-haired girls coz I know I could see who they are right away, about 70% at least.

M needs an inspiration.

Okay, I think M really need and inspiration. He havent write for a long time. His rhymes is getting old and if he wants to publish his rhymes, he gotta think fast and creative. And yeah, there's a high chance of him needed to write a script urgently.
*sigh*

Maybe you people out there should help him?
Lawl

He would surely credit u guys. Erm, how bout a photo, a story or anything you could think of.

*sigh*

I need to get ready early tomorrow. Gonna go back home and settle things.

Should I or should I not be a gigolo?
Lawl

I need the dough but it's hard getting a customer when u're not that famed enough.
*sigh*

Anyway, gonna sleep and toodles.

*BIG HUGS TO EVERYONE*
Spread the love!

Random Reminiscing

Last nite, as I was getting ready to sleep and stroking the sleeping little girl next to me, I was suddenly taken back into one of my precious memories. Memories of my room in Brisbane. It was not something special but it was homely.



It was messy most of the time, smell of cookings, full of dust and yeah, ciggy smoke. But it was homely. The bed, the space, the chair, the desk, the window, the everything u can find in that room, they were all comfy, inspiring and energizing. Lotsa sweat, tears, saliva, and any other fluid (dont let ur imaginations run wild i warn u) made the room mine, and precious. And those that I've spent time with there at times. They are too, precious. And times that I had, too, are precious.

Makes me thought of one person who never entered my room, eventho my room was full of my thoughts for her. When I first met her, I knew I wud be attracted to her. I knew it. But I'm taken, and she's taken. However, it didnt stop us to be friends. It starts with her poking me all the time she cud. And she ended up being poked by me too. Lawlz I miss the poking fights. Things ended suddenly when she decided to go back to her home country as a result of a broken heart. And we ended it with just a hug. Me and her just went on our separate way.

But, the red threads of destiny has not ended for me. Somewhere in April the year after she left, about 5 months or so, we somehow contacted through MSN. We chatted bout our poking fights, about her uber delicious Ice-choc, about ppl that we both know and about us. As days goes by, we started to use the term 'I miss you' in our chatting sessions. And slowly after that, we were getting very close. We went over to the level of saying 'I really am missing you' and we mean it. And we started to opens up our heart to each other, but it was more of a hinting. But when two ppl hinting at each other and they both understood it, it means something rite? We even made a promise to each other to get hitched when we're both 25.

Few months after that, she came back. With the purpose of being with me. And I really appreciate that.

But, the first week, I just didn't have the chance to meet her. She was busy settling down. We only call each other and text and chat. But then, a great surprise came to me. She suddenly was at the place we first met, during my weekly routine going to that place. We hugged. A long warm hug. We missed each other and that was the cure. But sunny days wont last long. After 2 weeks she came back, she got back with the person that broke her heart. Much to my agony. But I know that I'm in her heart at that time, from her pokes, her hands that soothe my insecurities, her smiles, laughs and frowns. I know if I tried to take her from that person selfishly, our friendship will deter. So, I patiently waited for her, listen to her woes, advice her on what to do and support her. And at the same time, I knew I cud count on her. And I was right. She's always there whenever I have a prob. Always there. And yes, it hurts walking her home from work, walking her to the arms of that person. And we knew it is awkward. And thus the silence.

It's funny

Its funny when there's no words
Even when they're just inches apart
After all those talkings
They've even had each other's heart

He was so keen before
Too tired of being solo
She was broken hearted
Thought all men are retarded.
Feelings were never meant to be shared
But somehow it just happened
Between them was a thousand miles of water
Yet it could never stop them from being together.

Its funny when fate stepped in
They lost the moments when they thought they could sing
A long warm hug could never compensate
The insecurities that both of them get

Its funny when there's no words
Even when they're just inches apart
After all of those talkings
They've even had each other's heart

A promise that'll last three years
Would never expect their silent tears
Haunted by a painful past
Could never give their feelings just.
She needs him as a comfort
He gives it, broken hearted
He needs her as a partner
But funny there's no words when they're together.

They felt it funny when things change so much
And it could not be undone
Else hearts will be broken
And none could become one

Its funny when there's no more words
Even though they're just inches apart.
(24/7/2007)

Yeah, M wrote that to remind me of my feelings then.

As times passed, it was about 2 weeks more until I leave Brisbane for good. She decided he was not good enough for her. And she chose me. But since she was busy and I was too, we didnt have the chance to see each other. It's been a months since we havent seen each other. She had another job at another place and I was busy with my studies and packing. We tried, but there's always things that came up. It is either me or her.

3 days before my flight back to Malaysia. She was going to Sydney to her friend's place. We promised to see each other at the Brisbane Domestic terminal. Her flight is around 1 in the afternoon. Knowing that u have to check in 2 hours before the flight, I went there as early as 10 am, waiting for her. Tried to call her a number of times but wasn't connected. Walked around every counter, to the taxi stand, to the train terminal looking for her. At 12.30, I was depressed and decided I might have had missed her during those walks. I decided to go back to the city and to my room. There, I look at her text messages, her missed calls and I could felt her hand on my back, soothing me from my insecurities like she always do. Then I got a call. It was from a public phone. She called. She asked me where I was. She was at the airport!

I quickly ran out of my room, out of the Unilodge to the nearest taxi stand. With a limited amount of money in hand, I decided to take an expensive cab to get there as fast as possible. Lucky for me, the driver was kind enough to give me a discount after I told him that this is the last chance for me to see the person I cherish most. He said he will charge until a certain amount and will take the shortest route. And he did. I paid two third of the fare. The journey was a restless one. I couldn't sit still. I wished I could just teleport myself there. When I arrived at the airport, the driver wished me good luck and hoped that I could meet her. I then ran all over the counters and boarding gates while trying to contact her. But fate was too cruel. I failed. I failed to get to meet her. I failed to get to say goodbye and take good care of yourself to her. I failed to say the words 'I love you' to her. I stayed there for about 1 hour before heading back to Brisbane city. The city where bittersweet memories were entrusted upon me. The city of laugh and tears. The sleepy little Brisbane.

And until now, I still have the photographic memories of what had happened that day.

Good thing we're still in touch through MSN and phone calls. And we still remember the promise we made. And it'll be 2 years more. And even though there's a thousand miles of water between us, we still holds on to each other. And we still hoping that one day we will meet again and we will give each other a long warm hug. A hug that materializes our feelings that words could not express.

And she is my Lucky Se7en.

The Girl and The Dress

There she was again
Staring from outside the window pane
Admiring the beautiful creation
A dress that became her obsession
It has became a routine for her
A daily activity she has taken to favor
Appreciating each bits of the texture
The curves and the colour
She wondered how she would look in it
She could only dream of something she couldn't get
The dress was far too expensive
Something she couldn't pay with just Cursive
Not with a rhyme that is so expressive
Other girls could afford it, she thought
Even though it might not suit them, she fought
And they might only wear it once
In an elegant party, just for a dance
And who knows what will become of that dress
These evil thoughts, she tried to suppress
And yet she kept on admiring
Little did she know what it was thinking
And how the dress made itself waiting
To be bought by the one it was made for
The one who would cherish and love it to the core
I wonder if the dress could keep it's sane
If it knew it was made for the loyal admirer, outside the window pane.


(1/8/2007)

Sho'el is a photogenic cat.

Sho'el is a photogenic cat. As from the previous entries, I put up few pics of him and how he posed for it! ^_^

Two nites before Cohort 1's graduation, Nicky played around with my cam and took pics of Sho'el.




Here' he tried to settle in and ready for poses. But turns out he grew another head! ZOMG!!!!!!! Neko monsta!



Here's a handsome guy pose!



Here's a gentleman relaxing pose.



And this is the venue of the photoshoot. My messy locker. Lawlz.

Wunan's Journey

Okay, this is to give a pictorial overview of Wunan's journey since he was out of AMC, the private vet, last Monday.


Here, he was enjoying the ride and KFC during the trip to UPM's pets' clinic. Comfortably hanging around Nesa's feet munching a big portion of KFC.

He had to stay a night at UPM and the next day, me and Star went to pick him up.




He was restless in the cage and keep on pleading to be set free.




Look at his bandaged right arm. I had to make sure it must not get wet and he had to be put on cage arrest for 2 to 4 weeks.



Here, he's in the newly bought cage, much to his disdain. But later on, I had to take out the sandbox and the food bowl as he will sleep on both of them. Then I have to put the box every 3 hours in the cage for him to do his business and take it out again. And yeah, had to take him out of the cage for feeding, drinking and petting time. Every 3 hours too.



Eton and Sho'el were jealous of him coz Wunan got a special treatment, and that includes a spanking new CAGE!!!!! ^_^ Shoel was camera shy this time tho.



His medicine. One liquid medicine that was needed to be administered once, A big blue pill that I have to smash it before I force it into his mouth and a small orange pill, to be forced into his mouth. the pills are taken twice a day, a pill each. He hates it.



After a feeding session. He was resting on my lap. He'd do it for hours. But honestly, he jumped rite after this picture taken. Luckily I managed to grab him before he landed. This sneaky boy, he never realized that he has a broken arm.

That's bout it. He will always crying and pleading to be let out of the cage. But too bad he has to endure it for another 3 weeks.


On a side note, this is wut happen when u drink and drive:


Moral of the day, don't drink and drive, u'll spill ur drink.
(Adapted from Fear's Don't drink and drive, U'll spill your beer)

Wunan's Update

Okay, we took him out from the private hospital early Monday and went to UPM (there's a looong story of our looong adventure between that). There, he was warded a day and underwent a surgery the next morning. Now, he's on cage arrest for at least 2 weeks and he's kinda pissed off with it. He just wanna play with the other cats. Cant write much but will update later coz I'm in Seremban for few hours before rushing back to KL and make sure he and the other 2 are okay. Well, toodles.

Graduating Cats

Graduation day for Cohort 1 seniors and oh my, most of the Cohort 1 girls are hot! I mean hot hot! ^_^
Well, it was nice to see them in their robe and getting their certs (even though I know that the real cert from IPBA arrive at the guard house hours after the event started).
As for Wunan, sent him to a medical centre and got him on IV drip and he's warded. He's supposed to undergo a surgery this morning but looks like he injured his liver and thus affecting his blood, making him not suitable for surgery. He had to had his liver stabilised and warded until Monday before the surgery. The thing is, we cant afford it. I prefer for him to be put to sleep coz he might suffer too, even after the treatment and our wallet will be as good as dead. And we couldnt just take him home and hope that he'll recover by his own.
And worst thing is that Eton is in heat. Her pheromones are affecting Sho'el and there's a number of times they almost fucked. Damn. Not yet 5 months and they are horny. It's like a 13 years old couple having sex. They are in their early teens!
*sigh*
Why does each of the cats knows how to trouble u at the same time?