Monday, April 28, 2008


Rights of precedence or what human called priorities could be labelled as one of the most common thing that people use as a guideline to their life, an instrument for breaking up and to list up what is most important than the other. It is an abstract thing that most people tend to take advantage of. As for myself, I used it as a shield, to prevent my weaknesses to take over me. Based from all of my experiences so far, I have listed out at least four of my most important priorities. They are, according to the highest to the lowest priorities, my moms, my family, my dearest sister (Mieza) and finally my friends. These people are those who are dear to me, and they know who I really am. These are the people whom I would trust my life to. And I would do anything I could for them.

I have two mums, since my dad married twice. However, I've lived almost all my life with my stepmum, thus she's the most important person to me. As for my birthmum, well, she gave birth to me. And that's about it. Even though sometimes I don't agree with either of them, trust me when I say I'd do anything possible for them. I've been beating the hell up of my dad just for them. I've been sacrificing what I could for them. And I would continue to do so.

My family is quite a big family. With ten siblings, one brother in law, two nieces and possibly a new mum, it is quite big. Mind you I only counted the ones who are still alive. Even though I'm not that close to my birth family, they are still important to me. My step family is my treasure. I still remembered how I was so torn up when one of my brother died. Even though he was sick and you could expect him to go away anytime, it still gave me a big impact. Anyway, I know I would always sacrifice my self just for them. If my dad calls me the black sheep of the family for some reasons, I am, in fact the sacrificial black sheep.

Sister (Mieza).
Its quite funny when I reflect back on how I got to know her and getting close to her. I never noticed her before Brisbane. And there, I only knew her as the senior who lives down the corridor. We got to know each other when either me or her was asking for ciggies. Starting from there, I've been hanging out at her room almost everyday. We shared lotsa stuff and imo, she knows me better than anyone else. She's been there for me and I'll always be there for her. Even though we're not connected by blood, we're even closer than a real brother and sister. And one protective sister she is. I still remember her words, and of course, Layla's too. "Don't be played around by girls anymore, coz we're girls, so we know". There's too much that I could tell bout her and me, but lets keep it to my self okay?

After MRSM, I said to myself you won't find any other 'friend' anymore. But in a way, you could find and make friends with anyone, if you are willing to. This priority somehow puts me in a pinch. Tbh, I know that if we want somebody to be a 'friend' to us, we should be a 'friend' to them first. Its just not about laughing together, being noisy and shouting here and there, eating together and all. But it's about respect each other, be a listener, a shoulder to cry on and one that the 'friend' could depend on. I wonder sometimes when all of the things that you've done to your friends, they just take advantage of it and to add to it, they have no respect for you at all, except when they don't have anyone else to be their audience. Well, not to say that all of my friends are like that. Some are not at all. For example, Layla, Nana and of course, Michael. Note that Michael is a supernatural being. Lol. But seriously, these people are those that really deserved the fourth spot of my priorities. Yes, there are some people who might be suddenly concern about you. But at the end of the day, they're concerned just to show their 'good side'. And that is about, erm, lemme say around 20% of the time. The rest, they could be as selfish as human can be. But oh well, that's life rite?

Well, those are my unchanging priorities. Some people might ask, what about your girlfriend/s? Well, people come and go. And to me, some of them do not deserve to take over the fourth priority spot. Why? Because some of them expect a guy won't need to be pampered, guys don't need a female shoulder to cry on, guys don't need attention like they do and yes, they don't even understand (or even try, even if they say they did) guys. But they want guys to understand them, give attention to them, be their crying shoulder or even attention giver. Well, I might be biased but my heart has broken too much by girls. Not that I will turn gay or something, but it really pisses me off. And yet I'm still searching and looking around. *sigh*

Other things that other people consider as their priorities might not be that important to me. I'm very meh to academic or work or other stuff. Maybe in few years I'll change my priorities, adding up my wife or something. But as for now, these are my priorities, even though at times they hurt me.

p/s: My utmost priority is actually hidden. And it is actually myself. And the other three me.

1 comment:

ah^kam koko' said...

It is times when we are downcast & betrayed do we actually see who truly cares for us...
I'm glad that you have found yours because they are jewels in your life that will carry you into the future!