Fevered Dreams

Got back home and to my precious net! And comes along GW! Yay!! After a week of GW cravings, the thirst is finally quenched!

But guess wut, besides the conjunctivitis i contracted last wednesday, i got another fever... Demm!
And coz of medications, i got sleepy a lot, thus less GW time for me...

*sigh*

Neway, saw this couple on a motorbike on the highway last friday... They made me thought bout life... it's like riding a motorbike on a highway... Even if there's a heavy traffic, they can just slip through the cars...

*sigh*

Talking nonsense again...
Here's J. Holiday's Bed




Kinda like this song atm... and yeah, 50 Cent's Follow My Lead



Follow my lead baby, I'll be anything u need~

^_^

I'm insane!
Full Stop.

I need internet!

This sounds sucks but using a stolen free wifi from a nereast telecommunication tower do has it's downside. It kept on disconnecting and the speed is rather slow... so much for a free internet..
Three words: I need internet!

>___<

I dont know wut i'm talking about.
Pardon me, i'm not well atm, currently having headache, runny nose and constant coughing... Feeling dizzy atm too.
Taken panadols, this some random cold n flu pills and some cough syrup... it still doesnt work...
Dont tell me to take more vitamin C, had enough of it alrdy.

I still cant work on the script... has this feeling of it might not be finished by self-set deadline......
I'm so lame!!!!!

*sigh*

I need a new perspective....
Maybe i need a new atmosphere....
But before that i need money!!
There's always must be more money!

I need ideas for a new rhyme or poem.....
How could i publish an anthology if i cant write more?

Life sucks atm...

oh yeah, Kimiko chan, i miss u too!!!

Grr.... This headache n dizziness is killing me!!
I'm out....

At home during a dull sunday morning...

At home now.. Been wondering why i cant get on with the script of a production of my own.... I planned on doing it based on my 'The Girl and The Dress' and Jay Chou's 'Shan Hu Hai' mv..... It's hard writing a script of 1 hour performance!! No ideas sprouting in my mind atm... *sigh*

Going back to IPBA, the cursed place, in few hours.. I dun like tat place.... I like Brisbane more and more and more! *bites IPBA*

Being at home let me satisfy my Guild Wars cravings. Had about 24 hours of GW. Did master bonus on one of the mission on normal mode.... (no hard mode for me for now... i'll be stressed up) and yeah, few hours of AB... got my new Luxon Supporter title... still a long way to go to max the title up...
Feary seems good, he just got back from hols trip.... I wonder wut Kim's up to..

God i miss Brisbane and the ppl there.... If i have millions of money, i'd go there and stay there! Living in Malaysia is a bane to my financial needs! Get this, 100 Aus dollar could last me ard a week and half while 100 Malaysian Ringgit could only last me ard 4-5 days, with the same way i spend.... Evil!

*sigh*

My poems/rhymes...

When i sleep...

When i sleep, when i try
When i tried to close my eyes
All i see is how time flies
Pigeons watch from above
Chameleons behind the grove
Observing how i drove
My hands around her
Face and watch her
Breathe deeply soundly

The wind blows my kiss
To her sleepy face
It arouse her, the trace
Her lips it miss
But not her heart
Where it meant to go
Through her veins it flows
To mend the broken part

But why does it
happen when i sleep
When i try
To close my eyes

(23/2/2006)

When I'm awake..

When i'm awake
When i try to open my eyes
All i see are lies
Lined up in front of me
Pestering me, pleasing me
Holding me high and mighty
Making me a deity
But these are all lies
That easily flies when
The truth is told
There will be no me then
All my life are going to fold
And crumble and break up
No more me to look up
to; No more deity
This is the truth you see
Without lies engulfing me
I'm just a nobody
Who was been made into somebody
By lies and deceit
Oh, I want to forfeit
From this Game
And face the shame.

(23/2/2006)

Have u ever seen an angel?

Have u ever seen an angel
descending from the sky
Full of bliss, full of grace.
Have u ever met an angel
Looking at her in the eye
And ur fears gone, without a trace.
Have u ever chatted with an angel,
And felt that u want to fly
away with her from this place
Have u ever dreamt of dancing with an angel
Not noticing that time flies by
Dancing all night and day, pace by pace
Have u ever wished that all u've wished come true?
Seeing an angel, meeting an angel, chatting with her and dance with her.....
I did and always do...

(23/2/2006)

When I Dream

When I dream
I saw the sunset
And I know
How the God let
me flow, In the stream
of life that is
harsh and full of prejudice
But only when i dream
Only then i know
How much of space
that i need
for me to gleam
in this wild goose chase
Having my self to feed
on the darkening glow
Trying to break loose
off the binding chain
forgetting all this dreamy pain
But this all i know
When i dream..

(22/4/2006)

When I Wait

When I wait
It reminds me of what u said
U want to be happy
And if u have wings, u would be
U even said Nas is crazy
Anything for u, as long as u are happy.
For once I made u feel special
But now I wonder if u are in the state of denial
Denying Musica, but u should as i was Belial
'I will stay by your side
I know we'll be alright'
Couple of lines from u to me
But it wasnt like what it used to be, am i right?
I messed up
I really messed it up
Your 5th November Confessions
Showed me your pure intentions
Showed me how I messed it up
But your wish on April 5th
Is the greatest gift
ever, Without it I would go adrift.
And Musica says hi, hope it will lift
u up, and make u fly
And I would always remember everything u said
As all this happen when i wait.

(17/5/06)

When I walk…

When I walk in the rain
To soothe and ease my pain,
The reflection of you ripples
As it was the first time we met
and wet, together in the rain
And I see your smile
your laughter and joy
But your tears were blended
with the rainy days' dribbles
Hidden by an intricate ploy;
in the puddle that crows riled
Oh how I wonder
do you love the rain too?
Oh I'd love to ponder,
wondering if you do.

(4/6/2006)

When I Capture

When I capture
the moment of her rapture,
little did she knows
it was an overture, that grows
and grows it became a torture
to me; stopping the blood flow,
crippling the scarecrow,
it's sad to see.
Her face didn't gleam in happiness,
eyes in darkness,
laughter thrown into emptiness.
That's what i see
When I capture
the moment of her rapture.

(26/07/2006)

When I Think

When I think of
manly stupidity
I never thought of
how it would be
if i could see
what was going on
in my mind; the magic is gone.
The crystal shattered,
identities scattered,
fortune battered.
Manly stupidity
a devil's advocacy
lead me to destruction
no more infatuation
but forever dissatisfaction.
When I think of
manly stupidity
I would think of
MY stupidity.

(28/7/2006)

When I

When I
tried to reach the sky
flapped my wings and fly
I was halted
The past haunted
Wings battered
I stuck in the past
Cant fly that fast
Burdened with selfish trust
Reaching something that was mine
I left it, thinking it should be fine
Oh damn it, I'm so blind
Blinded, I couldn't fly
Its not meant for me, the sky
Nothing left, but I.

(21/8/2006)

When I Trace

When I trace
back; Against the race
Against my will, against my face
Confronting my disgrace
Not did i see what i should be
Confronting me, facing me
I'm nobody's!
Nobody nobody's!
Footsteps erased, words rephrased
Its mine, my disgrace
Not nobody's!
Or somebody's!
I'm mine, yeah its fine.
Nobody should be
messing with me
I need to be free
I want to see
How i get up
and trace up
my footsteps

(23/8/2006)

When I Tried

When I tried
Followed my instinct and my pride
Never did I thought of a guide
To lead me
As I will always be
Rash and a fool
Always thinking of being cool
Only in dreams that I live
With everything I would give
to you, Hope it will last
Got to think fast
I need a plan
I don’t want to be banned
I was just trying
Followed my instinct
And my pride.

(10/9/2006)

When I Fall

When I fall
Knocked my head to the wall
Could I hear your call?
Could I look into your face?
With my hearts filled with disgrace
My mind out of place
How could I be with you
By not knowing what to do
Speechless, thoughtless
Breathless, as if I'm dead
Too many stains I had
Too much pain I get
Too much regret

(27/09/2006)

When I Heard

When I heard of separation
I don’t know why, it became a distraction
What used to be an obsession
Is no longer a satisfaction
Everyone seems to breaks up
No one lives and looks up
to the sky high
Wishing they could fly by
their troubling emotion
with or without discretion
No more revelation
No more infatuation
Candles burnt, heads turned
Fingers rusted, eyes dusted
Seeing what they want to see
With the thought of they aren't meant to be.

(27/9/2006)

I’m just something that perspires

It’s Monday and its 3.46 am
Can’t sleep, cant recognise who i am
Who I’m supposed to be
Who I used to be
Been wondering who i really am

Got no feelings right now
No desires, nothing inspires
Supposed to be a man now
Guess I'm just a something that perspires
Supposed to be on fires
But hell no, no more lyres!

What is wrong me?
Hatred produces, love reduces
Tried to gain something and it turned to ashes
Who I'm going to be?
Stuck in the game
My name on the wall shame, that's all I see

Too much nicotine, less protein
Need more morphine!
Never tried that before
Heard its good,
wont feel nothing when you banged your head on the floor

The exit door lying next to me
They call it knife, yeah, maybe that's what it should be
Slit my wrists left and right
Yeah, I should, maybe I might!
Damn, this is not me, giving up without a fight
I'm getting so low
Didn't try to go against the flow
Drowning, trying to let go
This is me no more.

(20/11/2006)

When I feel

When I feel
This weird sensation
Euphoric obsession
Unexpected infatuation
Could anything be different?
Could everything be different?
The sun during the rain
Could never ease my pain
If I could never gain
Or get it out of my brain
There is no more
Musica, D or Bro
Just me, Nas, on the go
Just me, to and fro
Saying it like a pro
Never thought of it would
happen again like it could
Mess with my mind, maybe it should
It's different now
Anything is different
Everything is different.

(18/12/2006)

When I Ponder

When I ponder
I cant help to wonder
How it could affect a brother
Coz its fun to be together
Even it will be left after
All of this is a goner
When there's no more donor
Wont be spinning anymore, the rotor
But I still want to be in the mirror
Reflecting, seeing myself forever
Maybe now, maybe in the future
I'll shout to myself, 'Get Her!!'
Not maybe, I will, I will get her
This emptiness, I need her to fill
This craziness, I need to be grilled
This madness, I need to kill
Dont get me wrong, just try to chill
Find the mirror, I will
The warm reflection, I need to feel
'Be urself', I will.

(30/1/2007)

Here I am

Here I am

Listening to u sleeping

Here I am

Dont want to hang up the phone

Here I am

Feeling closer and closer to u

Yet fate hated me

Six just cant be my number

Six roses for the sixth of January

A weight I'm glad to carry

Didnt expect it would be getting rougher

And tougher And sharper And harder

Just dont want to let it go

Here I am

Listening to u breathing

Here I am

Terribly wanting u

Here I am

Being so selfish

I know I cant make u stay

But just dont let it be that way

Its too harsh for soul like urs

Here in the darkness I told myself

Only your shadow in front of me is enough

Crystalline pendant

Wouldnt look so nice without you

Everlasting smile

Wouldnt look so great without you

Scarred soul

Wouldnt heal without you being here

Here I am

Being so thoughtless

Here I am

Being so selfish

Here I am

Longing for your shadow in front of me

(22/2/2007)

I miss my mirror

I miss seeing the smiles
I miss those cheeks
And all those kisses
Even though its not what I seek

I miss getting your orders
I miss to be made fun of
And the times spent escorting you
And the way you tried to piss me off

I miss waiting for your car
I miss the food you cook
And your little cat
But not the day you gave me this book

I miss your excuses
I miss your angry face
And I miss the way
That made me remembers my place

I miss being your refuge
I miss being your listener
And being a loyal passenger
And the words of a mirror

I miss the chance for the white roses
I miss the chance of saying goodbye
And i hate the bad things that happened between us
Because you are the one that changed my life

I miss my favourite waves and pillow
I miss getting hurt
I miss my mirror
And trust me, it doesnt sound absurd.

(12/7/2007)

It's funny

Its funny when there's no words
Even when they're just inches apart
After all those talkings
They've even had each other's heart

He was so keen before
Too tired of being solo
She was broken hearted
Thought all men are retarded.
Feelings were never meant to be shared
But somehow it just happened
Between them was a thousand miles of water
Yet it could never stop them from being together.

Its funny when fate stepped in
They lost the moments when they thought they could sing
A long warm hug could never compensate
The insecurities that both of them get

Its funny when there's no words
Even when they're just inches apart
After all of those talkings
They've even had each other's heart

A promise that'll last three years
Would never expect their silent tears
Haunted by a painful past
Could never give their feelings just.
She needs him as a comfort
He gives it, broken hearted
He needs her as a partner
But funny there's no words when they're together.

They felt it funny when things change so much
And it could not be undone
Else hearts will be broken
And none could become one

Its funny when there's no more words
Even though they're just inches apart.

(24/7/2007)

The Girl and The Dress

There she was again
Staring from outside the window pane
Admiring the beautiful creation
A dress that became her obsession
It has became a routine for her
A daily activity she has taken to favor
Appreciating each bits of the texture
The curves and the colour
She wondered how she would look in it
She could only dream of something she couldn't get
The dress was far too expensive
Something she couldn't pay with just Cursive
Not with a rhyme that is so expressive
Other girls could afford it, she thought
Even though it might not suit them, she fought
And they might only wear it once
In an elegant party, just for a dance
And who knows what will become of that dress
These evil thoughts, she tried to suppress
And yet she kept on admiring
Little did she know what it was thinking
And how the dress made itself waiting
To be bought by the one it was made for
The one who would cherish and love it to the core
I wonder if the dress could keep it's sane
If it knew it was made for the loyal admirer, outside the window pane.

(1/8/2007)

There, everything that i wrote since i was in Brisbane.

Hey Ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey ho!!

Just moved here from friendster blog...
Planning to move all my rhymes or poems here... but too much hassle to do it now... cbf bout this atm...

So, yeah....

Lalalalalalalalala

Hey ho!