I feel...

-like doing everything all over again, but that would make me not the me I know today.
-that I might not be worth it for the standards, but my own.
-like I'm just the bushes, canopied by the large greens.
-afraid of things to come.
-clueless of my next step.
-that its as if I dont have any other options anymore.
-that what I feel seems to be invisible for others to feel.
-that my feelings is overwhelming that I cant concentrate on anything.
-like quitting this job and just wander around the face of the earth.
-like to continue this noting another day, another time.
-like searching for the book again.

Little Seed

And there are things that I could see
that many could try but couldn't be
that some might have the slightest feel
that little could do much to understand me
understand how I stand, how I walk
understand how I create and how I talk
accepting what I want and what I need
it's like a sun to a seed.
That little seed
That weak little seed
All it wants is to grow
Tall, big and green
Like a big old oak
Piercing the sky, being a roost
Shading the shy, giving them a boost
But that little seed is little
So tiny that many belittle
And it will grow to be
Something that people make use of, you see
And I am that little seed
getting belittle at, getting stomped
getting slow at getting bigger
trying to grow to be greener
just like a simple tree
but can protect my baby
even if it cost my body, dearly
or my life as the price
no, this aint no dice
I would literally give my life
away, so that they can get a nice
smile to give me back
give me their happiness and peace, in fact
let them babies of mine
wear something nice and fine
that others awed at while they dine
in jealousy and envy
Coz I'd do anything for my baby.

Where'd you go - Fort Minor

What I see

Its too hard to bear
When an S is negating another S
even when the both of them
are the same entity.
Its too hard to see
when an S fits an N
even when the both of them
are different entities,
when they shouldn't be as one.
Its hard to swallow
the irony of the words.
Its hard to comprehend
the idea of the idea.
And its hard enough
to make others see.
What I see.