Sunday, July 13, 2008

Random Madness

In life, things that we might not want, we'll get it. Things that we really wants, we might not get it.

It's suprising to see how things revolves around you. Thing you planned fails, things came to you uninvited - that bring smile and tears. I'm not sure how it works, but as far as the laid back me knows, I'll just go meh and cbf with it. Somehow, sometimes, something cant be dealt by cbf-ing with it. IT WILL JUST AFFECT YOUR LIFE GREATLY. Just like how your pizza was a little bit burnt, there will be a small bitter taste to it. And if you're a very particular person, you might even sue the pizza maker. One drop of water can change the whole flow of a river. However, going with the flow is what most people would do. I would sometime avoid that. I would sometime try to stop the drop of water, make a new pizza and stuff. But my actions would change everything too. This dilemma haunts me as a spirit choosing wether should it cross over or dwell in an empty house.

A closed door means there's an open window somewhere. The thought of closing the door would kill me but the thought of opening a new window gives me a new breath of life. But if I'm to choose to close the door, will I accept the new opportunity? Will it be ethical? Some might say yes, some, no. If I'm me, I'd say yes, coz it's my life. But if I'm not me, I'd say what about the door? Wouldn't the door would give me more and bigger sized opportunity? Life is just a big fucking hassle. But at the same time, life is heaven. Life.....

I already chosen to close that door, already chosen not to make another pizza, already chosen to let the river flows disrupted. But, could I face these? Could I?

Sometimes, it's just hard. Just hard. Fucking Hard!

When the life of me was destroyed by my own hands, should I feel regret? Should I feel remorse? Should I sulk at the corner of a room?

I don't know.

I'm still a young grasshopper, yet masterless.

But, in a way, I'm happy.

In a way, I'm Happy.



Am I?


Walked a lot today, with froggy. Went around a mall, saw this one modern goth apparel. It was quite bad, for male that is. Female modern goth's apparel was great. In gothic clothing, I love the Victorian era attires. But it's just hard to get one, but that does not include the custom mades.

It's funny when I went out today, and met a really nice person. Mom would approve, Sis would approve and all of me would approve. But, what about....
Better for me not to go deeper.

*shitty mode*

As I recall, the last few years was a bit bad to me. And that includes this year too. Will I get the chance to see a glimmer of light in the future? Or will the blood-red sky falls down on me? Would the white rose blooms? Or would the smell of jasmines fills my lungs?

What about my dreams?
What about my hopes?
What about my promises?

I dreamt too much.
I hoped too much.
I promised too much.





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