I'm a creep..

Well, lotsa stuff happened. And when I reflect back, I do understand that I'm a total creep. I am. I'm so sorry to those that I've creep-ed at...



*sigh*

hey Musica, when are u gonna write sumtin?
Bro's silenced atm and we dont want D dont we?

*sigh*



I dont know wut to do, wut to say, wut to write and how to react. I guessed I've changed. Changed back to the person I was before Brisbane. I wonder why I became like this. Maybe Michael is not here with me, thus the difference. Maybe I'm just too distanced. I feel like I dont know who I really am anymore. There, another Mi-Ne.

*sigh*

Look, here's the thing. It's not that I'm doing the stuff you told me not to, not that I don't walk the talk, not that I'm trying to be an asswipe or sumtin. But maybe I'm just me. Maybe I just want to be myself.

I need my lucky seven.
I miss the Brisbane me.
I don't know.

Musica, D and Bro, am I doing the right thing? Or am I not supposed to do this? Would everyone see wut i'm seeing rite now? Would they see it differently? Should I heed to their call? Or should I ignore? Do take over for me for a while guys. Please.






I'm out.
Nas out for quite a while.

Ash Like Snow

I know i'm supposed to do my 'not-so-last-minute' asgmt by now... But being one of the QUT cohort 2 boys, it is 'un-qut-boys-like' to do asgmt unless its 5 hours more to submit... lolz.

I downloaded a song from Gundam 00, titled Ash Like Snow.. Nice music by The Brilliant Green.. N great lyrics. I have here the meaning of the lyrics in English, being it is a JRock song.



English Lyrics:
An ebony darkness that dyes the sky red
Swallowed the stardust
Ash like snow falls and accumulates briefly

I gazed at the window of grief
I never dreamed
Freezing onto it
there... I come for you

My thoughts soared up
Into the desolate night sky and shattered
Every time when this world changed its shape
It destroyed
The things that I wanted to protect

An immoral darkness crowds my heart
Like anesthesia, your voice
Coldly steals away my sensations

Even if I pursue contradictions
They won't end
Why do I fight?

Even if light vanishes
And this Earth is corrupted
I won't forget
Your little wish
Guides you to the place where it must be at

there I come for you yeah
Ash Like Snow
is falling down from your sky
Ash Like Snow
Let me hear...
why I have to fight?

These thoughts of mine soared up
Into the desolate night sky and shattered
In exchange for the glory of opening up the darkness
I lost the things that I must protect
(It's falling from your sky)
It's too futile
(Baby I come for you)

Every time when I got hurt by the smashed up pieces
My closed heart
Chose to be strong
And came here


There... I wonder when i'll start my asgmt...

Happy Valen's Day!

Happy Valen's Day all!
Why Valen's Day? coz my nick, Valen, used in GW, comes from Valentine... so, it can be considered as my day today..... lol

We boys had our own way to celebrate Valen's day...
Since most of us are singles, Jarod came with an idea which is to have a moment of silence together to remember those who're singles n alone this Valen's day.
So we made a circle and when the clock strikes at 12 am, we observed 5 mins of silence (i know, its too long but we did it anyway). After tat we listened to sad/lonely songs to give more effects to ourselves. This 'ritual' was somehow shows how we could impulsively do stuff together in unity, despite our differences. This is the spirit of Valen's day. The spirit of love towards others, friendship and our relationship. Mind u Valen's day is not only for lovebirds but its for us to appreciate our loved ones - family, frens, lovers, and those that we never met.

Valen's day has just started. Spread the love.

I'm sorry

I dunno y but i felt like saying i'm sorry to those i've wronged and those i will do wrong... I'm sorry.

And Akon's song does fit in this context. So, yeah.



U can put the blame on me...

Knocked Up

Last nite, as boredom slowly took lead of me, we decided that a movie or two wouldnt kill. Knocked Up was chosen and even though it's one of the comedy flicks, it gave me quite an emotion. Basically it's about a fucked up guy who had a one night stand with a career-type-of-a girl and she got pregnant. The guy was a good portrayal of early twenties male that still hasn't got the grasp of the life that he wants to lead. Somehow it makes me think of how it could portrays me. Anyway, watching the movie makes me think about what will happen to me if I got knocked up. How would i handle it? How would we handle it? How would my baby looks like? And the most important thing, how would i support my child?

How would i support my child?

Marriage and cohabiting, to me, is the same thing. The only difference is the notion that your relationship is legal by the law and the law of religion. Both marriage and cohabiting means that we live with another person and support each other emotionally and maybe financially. And sumtimes we might end up having a baby or two. How would we support the child? A new phase of life is beginning and we can't be in the mindset of our joyous single life. We need to muck up and starts to think as a family person. The first thing we need to have, imo, is a financially stable life. Everything is money nowadays. And to raise a child, lots of money required. Medical bills, food, clothes, home, sundries etc. Would i have the money by the time i have a kid? That i do not know.

That I do not know

I do not know if i gonna have money when i got my first kid. But I do know that before i'm gonna make a kid, i have to have a matured point of view on life. Matured thinking is important imo. I would pity those couples that gets married early, having not knowing what to do, what must be done and how would they deal with problems they are going to face. Marriage is not about the fucking without guilt. It's about taking care of the life of another person's son or daughter. And taking responsibilities. If the mindset is still green, or in layman terms, not matured, i predict in 5 - 10 years, he or she will be saying sumtin like this, "marriage is like a violin, the strings are still attached, but the music is no more". And it will lead to divorce, and to the dark future of your child. And because of this, i'd prefer a couple to cohabit first, at least for a year, before thinking about marriage. Get to know your partner first, i mean really getting know your partner. And remember, its not about the sex, but its about another person's life. But still, sumtimes, after 30 years of marriage, u might not really know bout your partner.

*sigh*

Nas's early morning random ramblings is shite.
Dont take it to the heart.
Better off u read Musica's new poem.

He's waiting for the car to pick him up

Sitting on the roadside, puffing
Looking at the little girl smiling
Cars passing by, ignoring
What he thinks of now
What's holding him now
No one knows why he's there now.
He's waiting for the car to pick him up.
Leaning against the wall, sighing
Watching the clouds, fleeting
Memories and present life, conflicting
He needs to get his ideas down
Making his forehead frowned
This little book is getting brown
He needs an inspiration, fueling his obsession
His passion, looking at the irony of prediction
His insecurities betraying his limitation
He's waiting for the car to pick him up.
I'm waiting for the car to pick me up.

A legacy?

*sigh*
It's time to open my history pages and review on the 'playboy-ness' of us.

There was a time in IPBA when i was dubbed a playboy. It was not true back then. I was just one of the victims of circumstances. And seriously I wasn't playing with anyone's heart.

The word playboy refers to 'a philanderer who devotes himself to a life of "play" and typically refers to a man who has numerous brief sexual relations with women'(wikipedia,2008) and a 'wealthy pleasure-seeking man: a rich man who does not work and devotes himself to a life of pleasure without commitments or responsibilities' (Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.)

It does not apply to me at all, especially then. I wonder if the one who has a very 'aji no moto' type of lips knows who i was and wut i dealt with at that time.

Anyway, it is my past or maybe my legacy? lawlz.

I wonder if the 'aji no moto' lips knows how many girls i had had n still have relationship with since i was in Brisbane. In this context, relationship may refer to 'a specific connection between objects, entities or concepts' (wikipedia, 2008). It maybe of 'frens, family, lovers or some random ppl i met' type of relationships.

How bout this, I'll post some of their pics! (all girls, sorry guys! lmao) It'll be following the order of when I met them. These girls r my best frens in the world... We had had our ups n downs but idk.

This here is Sarah. She's one of the receptionist working at the Unilodge. Her boyfriend is a Malaysian. She has a sister, Lauren. Did not have her pic tho.



Next, this is my precious sis, Mieza!!
Just few months older than me but heck, she's still my big sis!



Next, this is Layla @ Loan. She's a german chick but is of Vietnamese blood. She's really cool and a trustworthy fren. Very protective of me and always reminded me not to be controlled by girls... lol She's a rapper n had been in Germany's MTV. Her songs r quite good!



The next one is Nanako or Nana!
A Japanese girl with Aussie's attitude and English proficiency level. She's fun, loves to poke me and she's Japanese! Wut more can i say?



Next one is Lin. She's the one that had changed my life to the point that Miss Kon is proud of me and wanting me to give talk to Cohort 5 students. I have lots to thank her.



Next is Si Budak Chumil. Or Izy @ Izyan. I have to take care of this girl for about one year, as requested by Bulost, her boyfriend. It is hard to look after this little girl. *bites Bulost n Izy* Note that I'm on the right hand side.



Next pic is of Taeko (left) and Hiroko (Right). Both of them r twins and Hiroko with her mum works at the restaurant that I worked at. Plz note that Hiroko is a fan of my poetry. Taeko and Hiroko r both wanting to study in some Ivy league uni in Califonia.



Next is Monica. A 28 years old Taiwanese that idolizes me. I mean idolizes like a fan idolizes his/her favourite singer/actor. Dont ask me why, I do not know.



The final pics is of my favourite precious little girls. Left hand side is Insyirah and right hand side is Fatihah. These r my nieces. Note that I'm their slave.



So, reviewing on all the above pics, do you still think I'm a playboy? The situation is still as similar as the time i was dubbed playboy. But does the title applies to me? I do not think so.

*sigh*

I'm bored tbh. And too tired coz of slaving myself to those two little munchkins. I wanna play GW later. So, yeah.
Ja~

I wanna bite u!

I went to my birthmum's house yesterday and one of my sis was there. She's back from Japan and guess wut? she bought me some gift!

A shirt, which is quite nice n i love it much, some random leaf, red coloured... and a bitter choc, which is very very very yummy!





Tanx sis! Next time, bring me more! ^_^

I saw this Actor's Studio ad, wanting more performers for drama, comedy, dance n music. I'm still contemplating on whether i should contact the person and ask about it.. coz if i join them, i might not have time for my precious boring life in ipba, n that includes harassing Pochi 2 aka Sayang. That darn cat. How dare she comes to level 7 just for a meal. And don't even want to learn how to kiss!!!
God i miss Manchi.

p/s: dont ask me about my new poem. got the idea one min, forgot bout it after that..
as u know, i AM lame...

>_<

Urge MySpace.com to include Animal Welfare in their Terms of Use Agreement

Urge MySpace.com to include Animal Welfare in their Terms of Use Agreement

There, go to it, read bout it and hopefully sign it. It's for the little ones! Lets do them a favor.